I honestly don't even know where to start with this, my timelines might be a bit off but the last week and a half has been so crazy it's hard to keep track of what happened when, I will try my best. But I guess i'll start with a brief overview of the people we've worked with in the NICU.
The nurses (RN)- each baby had a nurse, they do most of the work really. They feed, change bums, set up their beds, give baths, etc. They are basically the guardians of our babies. We have however learned that we unfortunately do not like all of the nurses there, some of them are beyond amazing and some do a really good job of making us feel like we shouldn't be there. I guess we can't like everyone right?
Respiratory Therapists (RT)- These are the guys (and gals) that do everything involved with breathing, hence the name. The therapists are AMAZING and have been some of our favorite people to work with. We have worked with 3 primarily; Ron, Cathy & Lynn. Seriously, all such awesome people!
Nurse Practitioner (LPN)/Doctors- they evaluate the babies situation and make the calls as to what they believe should be done. The practitioners and doctors in the NICU are also so amazing, I have been totally comfortable with every decision that has been made so far and am so grateful to have such an amazing team caring for my children.
When the babies first arrived in the NICU, they got hooked up to monitors, got IV's, feeding tubes, and were immediately placed on oxygen. I'm sure there was more done, but thats basically what I saw when I went to the NICU for the first time (about an hour or so after their birth). Now, for the twins...
Hudson Mack
Day 1 (Monday):
Hudson was born first, and has this kid had a rough start to life. I feel so bad for the little guy. When he was born he came out screaming which made me really happy- it meant a good set of lungs, right? Not quite. Hudson was having a hard time breathing right after birth so the NICU peeps put him onto a CPAP machine to help get him going. Unfortunately the CPAP wasn't doing what they were wanting to do so Ron (the respiratory therapist) gave Hudson some medicine called surfactant to help keep his lungs from sticking together. We gave it some time to work, but unfortunately it wasn't doing what we were hoping it would do and we could tell Hudson was struggling to breathe (he was bright red), so we moved to the next step- a ventilator.
The ventilator was weird, its a big machine that pushes air into the lungs to help keep them open. It submits little tiny 'breaths' so it looked like Hudson's chest was vibrating. To get his lungs to stay open they had to put a tube down his throat and into his lungs. Poor little guy. This was basically it for the first night, it was just a waiting game to see if he would pick up on his breathing now that his lungs were able to stay open and not close and stick together.
The LPN was also having a hard time getting Hudsons PIC line in. The PIC line is a little tube that they put in near your heart, its basically just an IV that they use for nutrients and medicines. They had tried to put his line in through his arm but every time they did it would curl under his armpit (we could see this via ultrasound), and they had no luck. They tried to put it through his foot as well but ended up putting it in through his head. It's ugly looking but they did what they could.
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| PIC line (and look at his hair!) |
Day 2:
Today was a big day for Hudson. The ventilator was still going to keep his lungs open, but Hudson wasn't breathing on his own. An X-Ray had been done earlier in the day and it was determined that Hudson had a little hole in his lungs and air was escaping and was sitting in his chest (just outside of his rib cage). Dr Minton was the doctor in charge of the twins that night, on top of the X-ray he used a little flashlight type light to look at Hudson's chest, when the light was on it you could actually see where the air in his chest was. It was kind of cool to see, but terrifying that I was seeing this on my baby. Dr Minton explained that he wanted to put a needle/catheter type thing into Hudsons chest to extract the air, he also explained that if this did not work then he would need to put a tube into his chest to help the air escape. So we tried the air extraction first and checked back a few hours later to see if it had worked or if the air had returned, it was back. We moved onto the chest tube. Hudson was thankfully sedated before they did this procedure and remained under sedation to give his lung time to heal.
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| Ventilator, and chest tube on the pictures right side |
Day 3:
Hudson was still under sedation, he wasn't moving nor was he breathing on his own. I immediately broke down and started crying when I saw him, if it weren't for his heartbeat monitor I would've assumed he was gone. Seriously, it was the hardest thing seeing my baby like that. But anyway, still heavily sedated, the ventilator was still running and keeping his lungs open. They kept him sedated because the chest tube was still in and it not only looked extremely painful, they didn't want him to breathe on his own and cause it to hurt even more. This allowed his body time to heal his hurt lung. They did another X-ray and flashlight test (I'm just calling it that) on his lungs/chest and determined that the air was gone and his little lungs had healed. Yay!! The chest tube was finally taken out and it was time to let the little man wake up.
Day 4:
Hudson was finally out of his sedated state, his poor body was so swollen from all the fluid build ups and he was so so sleepy, but he was moving again and that made this momma happy. He was still on the ventilator and started to finally breathe a bit on his own! They also started Hudson's feedings through his feeding tube. All in all it was a pretty uneventful but great day for this little man!
Day 5:
Today was another big day for our little man! Cathy the RT had been on the last couple of nights and she was watching Hudson closely. Because he was breathing on his own a lot better than before she chose to switch him from the Ventilator that made him vibrate to one that breathed normally, so his lungs would actually inflate and deflate as opposed to just staying open and pumping little tiny pumps (thus the 'vibration'). This ventilator still required the tube down his throat and into his lungs but once they moved him over you could tell his breathing got better and he was already breathing on top of the machine.
Later in the day she opted to move from the ventilator to a NIT-V (sp?) which looked a lot like a Cannula (oxygen tube in your nose) but instead of just supplying an oxygen stream into his nose it also submits little pressure puffs every so often. I wish I could tell you why, but I really can't. Anyway, so in order for Hudson to move from the ventilator to the NIT-V they had to remove his throat tube. They already had the air into his nose so they could immediately switch between the oxygen supplies and when they pulled out the tube in his throat he stopped breathing for a second. I watched the monitors drop and I almost freaked out. Turns out he had a big glob of mucus in the back of his mouth so when they pulled the tube he couldn't breathe because of that, the LPN Jenny immediately suctioned it out and Hudson started breathing again, phew!
All of the ruckus caused Hudson to finally wake up and show me his cute little eyes! The night before Daniel had been waiting for Hudson to wake up, but he never really did and I got to see Hudson open his eyes before Daniel did. Ha!
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| He opened his eyes! |
Today was also the first day I got to hold Hudson, the ventilator he was on would not allow for us to hold him, but since he got moved to the NIT-V I finally was able to, except Daniel actually held him before me. Oh well, I guess Dads get turns too.
Hudson was also placed under bili-lights to help with his jaundice. Because he hadn't had a bowel movement yet and really hadn't been peeing due to being sedated his bilirubin wasn't leaving his body and his levels were rising. The bili-lights help break down the bilirubin in his system so he can dispose of it through bowel movements or by peeing. The lights don't scare me but it limited my holding time because of it. Boo!
Day 6:
The RT's were also saying that Hudson might be able to move from his NIT-V for breathing to a high flow oxygen device within the next couple of day. It ended up happening tonight when we were home, but instead of high flow he got moved to a regular cannula. A cannula is those clear little oxygen tubes that you see in peoples noses when they are in the hospital, they are pretty common. But this was awesome news, it meant he was breathing well enough that he didn't really need support for his breathing, it was there more of a just in case and a help with the transition from the NIT-V to room air.
Hudson's bilirubin levels don't change much, so on top of the bili-light they also put a bili-blanket underneath him, just to help break down the bilirubin a bit quicker.
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| Bili-lights & blanket |
Day 7 (Sunday):
Hudson is still on the cannula, but Ron (the RT) explained to me that with how little oxygen was being pushed to him it was basically as if he were breathing room air, however when Hudson gets mad his oxygen supply and breathing would go down so they were keeping him on the cannula until he stopped doing that. Basically he would get so mad and cry so hard that he would stop breathing for a second, little stink. Ron still thought that we'd be able to have the cannula out soon because he was breathing so well.
Ron also told me word for word, "Since Hudson is better now, I guess its safe to tell you that he was REALLY sick". Hard words to hear, but also amazing in the fact that my little guy got better in just a week! We determined that Hudson had caught the cold I had the week before I delivered, and I felt so bad...I didn't know he could get sick if I was, and its hard for me not to blame myself for him being so sick and coming so early, but the nurses tell me that I shouldn't think that way, it was not my fault.
Day 8-10:
The twins were moved to Nursery B Monday morning, which means Hudson is not sick anymore! Hudson is also off all oxygen and is breathing room air...so in other words, he is breathing on his own! Yay! He is also off his bili-blanket and lights so we can hold him for longer periods of time and more than just once in a 12 hour period.
Hudson however is having some tummy problems, we believe its acid reflux or something along those lines. He tends to throw up quite a bit after his feedings and is really fussy waking up every few minutes to cry, unless of course mom is holding him, then he's totally fine. So although they think its acid reflux, I think its more of a sign for attention! haha. We'll figure it out though, I'm just hoping he's not allergic to something I've been eating...heaven forbid he be lactose intolerant, I can't go without my milk!
So that's basically it for Hudson, the last week and a half have been long and mentally exhausting trying to keep up with everything that was going on with him, but he is doing awesome! He still has his PIC line in but they're hoping that will come out soon, it should once he reaches full feedings anyway!
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| My little man! |
Hannah Paige
Day 1:
Hannah's week is far less eventful than Hudson's, which is a good thing! When Hannah was born she was dead quiet, not a peep came out of her...which terrified me! I was so worried she was going to have breathing problems. She was placed on a CPAP machine the first night she was in the NICU to help her with her breathing, all of her lines were also placed. We were able to get her PIC line in through her hand, lucky girl.
Day 2:
Hannah is off the CPAP and is breathing room air, basically my girl is rocking it! She is a little diva who does not like to be bugged when she is sleeping, I'm going to guess she gets that from me. Crap. Hannah starts on feedings via her feeding tube, just a tiny bit at the beginning but its something!
I got to hold Hannah for the first time today, and I didn't want to put her down. It was so hard to put her back into her bed, but I was still admitted into the hospital so I was just one floor down from them, so needless to say I held her whenever I could!
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| First time holding Hannah |
Day 3-4:
Hannah is placed under bili-lights to help breakdown her bilirubin. Hannah's elevated jaundice levels were caused more by her bruising than anything else. During her delivery she decided to come out face up, which caused her little eyes to bruise up pretty bad (it looks like she got in a fight), the vacuum was also used to help her out and it caused her head to bruise. When the bruises heal it increases the bilirubin in her system, so the lights are used to just break that down so she can pee/poop it out. Gross, I know.
Hannah is still doing awesome on her room air, she's pretty boring in the NICU handbook.
Day 5-6:
Hannah's feeding are continuing to increase each shift (so twice/day) and this momma is worried she might not be able to keep up my milk supply to feed Hannah, let alone another baby. yikes. She's still doing awesome though!
On Day 6 (Saturday) Hannah is finally taken off the bili-lights and I am finally able to hold her for longer than 30 minutes twice/day. Yay! I could hold her for hours (and I do at times), she is so curious, always looking around and trying to find where the sound of my voice is coming from. Because they are so early, they won't be able to focus on what they see for quite some time. The joys of having preemies.
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| My heart is melting. |
Day 7-10:
Hannah's PIC line is finally taken off because my little lady has reached her full feedings, this means that she is even easier to hold since she doesn't have a scary IV sticking out of her. Also because her PIC line is out she is able to wear onesies! The nurses always have her dressed in a cute little onesie with a bow in her hair (well, stuck to her head). But she's doing awesome, now we just need to teach her how to eat so we can bring her home!
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| Skinny Mini |
And of course, the proud Dad:
Now as far as me...I've been a bit of a mess the past week, it doesn't get any easier leaving your babies in the hospital every night while you have to go home. There have been nights where I bawled my eyes out driving home. Its really hard to not be able to be mom like I feel like I should be right now, but I guess I have the rest of their lives to be mom and now its their time to finish growing so I can bring them home!
I also keep having people ask what they can do for me and I honestly don't know. So if I've told you nothing, its because I really can't think of anything...all I want is my babies home! Maybe if I'm lucky I'll have them home by my birthday in 2 weeks. Here's to hoping!
